I recently taught a 4-week immersion course, and followed up with a client for a post-program check in. She enthusiastically shared feeling increased energy, less bloating and a decreased waist circumference. She listed amazing accomplishments and learnings over the last few weeks, and in the end confessed to feeling bummed that the scale hadn’t moved.
Even highly intelligent, senior level executives get tripped up by the scale. It’s really just data, yet we often let the 10 amazing accomplishments we achieve go by the wayside and yield the floor the 1 thing that went wrong.
When I ran 600-person galas for a non-profit, we would raise hundreds of thousands of dollars and pull off a unique and meaningful experience for attendees. Yet my mind would always gravitate to the little thing that went wrong: I should have sat such-and-such person there, or the service should have picked up the plates earlier, etc., etc., “shoulding all over myself,” (as many coaches like to say).
Admit it, there is something you are beating yourself up about right now, and letting the “Itty Bitty Shitty Committee*” in your head monopolize the conversation. To what end? Stop!
Instead, change the conversation in your head and focus on all the things you do well today, starting now.
The practice of “noting,” used in meditation to stay present, is a great tool to support you. In noting, you are encouraged to notice if the mind drifts, “note” it has drifted, acknowledge whether you were “thinking” or “feeling,” and softly bring it back to a focus on the breath.
Just for the next 24 hours, engage in “noting” to learn when and how often your mind drifts to the negative. Paint a complete picture, not just one that narrowly focuses on what you perceive you do “wrong”.
Keep count for how often your attention goes to the thing that went poorly, and simultaneously list all that went right. I expect this will be an enlightening experience for you!
I don’t profess to be perfect and still can be pretty mean to myself, but I work to crowd out those thoughts with compliments. We all deserve them!
So, give yourself a whole-hearted compliment right now. Note it, remember it and keep it handy throughout the week as you practice “noting.” I look forward to hearing how it goes.
Marjorie, Chief MOJO Maker™
*Technical term cited yesterday by Ali Cayne, Owner of Haven’s Kitchen, at a panel event for the Fast Company Innovation Festival. I love my work with Balance Integration!