Through my work at Balance Integration, we are all taking a course in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and I want to share a life changing tidbit. I’m so grateful I get to learn so much at work!
By fine-tuning your relationship with this concept, you will improve relationships, your management skills and how you interpret what others say.
When you hear it, you may think the idea seems small, but I believe it is one of those ripple effect philosophies that, when practiced will have an impact on everything you do.
“What is it already, Marjorie” you may be impatiently asking?
Let me illustrate. Think about a recent conversation you had with a loved one or work colleague. Consider whether you were able to separate your OPINIONS from your THOUGHTS, your FEELINGS, BELIEFS or the TRUTH.
Wheels turning yet?
We often make assumptions, judgements or draw opinions based on previous experience as opposed to what is rational and true, and that can be a trap. Ever know someone who believes his/her opinion is truth, and his/her thoughts are facts? Imagine the impact that has on the ability to trust and have a relationship with that person, whether professional or personal!
For example, years ago I worked with someone who would cite data and statistics with such confidence, there was no discussing it. It was intimidating and shut me down instantly. But was he/she speaking truths? When examined, it turned out no. This person would spew all kinds of stretched or false data to support his/her point, just to be right. AND I WENT ALONG WITH IT. Not because of what he/she said, but because I allowed it to supersede my thinking. Worse than that, I let it impact my own self confidence and the story I told myself, sheepishly thinking “Clearly a person who can access all that data instantly and sound so sure, must know better.” Sigh!
Do you always want to be right? I often do, not because I can’t do any wrong, but because I believe in my feelings, instincts and the data that I’m drawing from. It can be hard to be objective when used to operating from that place. It actually can be downright uncomfortable.
But I’m willing to try. Are you?
This week be aware of and try to distinguish your opinions from your thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Note which are truths and which may not be. Separate those out on paper.
While doing so, consider whether you are inflexible or rigid in your thinking on certain topics, and whether there are truths you need to face.
I’m not suggesting you tear down your own or other people’s thoughts, opinions, etc., but to take the time to establish what is true and help people take responsibility for what they do and don’t want in their lives.
Just by taking an honest look at who you are and how you think will shift your ability to do so. In addition, you’ll receive others more openly and as a result be a better communicator. And that, my friends, is life changing.
Marjorie, Chief MOJO Maker™